Just figured I would share my toast with those of you who couldn't make it.
Ladies and Gentlemen:
It is indeed my honor and privilege to propose a toast to the bride and groom
For the benefit of those who don’t know me, my name is Greg Lewin. and I have been a friend of Christopher’s for over 15 years and indeed it has been an extreme pleasure …. Well, for him!
Over the many years I have known Chris, he has always been someone who has motivated and inspired me. If I had to choose one word to describe him, it would be the word success because anyone who knows Chris knows that anything Chris sets out to do, gets done… and not only does it get done, but in most instances it gets done better than its ever been done before.
Case and point, Chris went away for 3 consecutive summers and came back with a Master’s degree from RPI, a highly reputable school. He disappeared for what felt like a few months and next thing I know, he had a PhD, which I believe was the fastest period of time anybody has ever completed that program. And those are just a few examples .. the list goes on and on
So when I hear Chris say that next on his agenda is to be a husband, I have no doubts that not only will he be successful in that role, but he very well may be one of the best we’ll ever witness in it!
They say beside every good man is a great woman, and for many of Chris’ successes, there was someone who was by his side for a good portion of the journey. Someone who would lend an encouraging and comforting word during the difficult or discouraging times, someone who would remind him of his schedule and important meetings, someone who would run errands to the ends of the earth for him so he could focus on writing and completing projects. Someone who has played an integral role in his success.. and it comes as no surprise that Chris would want that person by his side for the rest of their lives.... That person is none other than the beautiful bride Ebone’.
I’ve heard people say that you have to be careful when naming your children because they very well may live up to the name you give them and when I think of the word Ebony .. I think strong, beautiful, black .. and when I think of the person Ebone’, I think beautiful, strong, black woman, who is also intelligent, sweet, kind, successful, patient, and someone who is perfect for Chris in every way!
Usually when people are looking for their soul mate they look for someone who complements them…. Someone who could be the Yang to their Ying…. And when I see Chris and Ebone’ interact you can feel the love spewing out of them, and I realize that Ebone’ doesn’t just complement Chris …. She completes him!!
And so without any further ado, please raise your glasses as I propose a toast two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one ... To Health, To Happiness, To Prosperity, To Posterity, To Joy, To Love, To Forever!! Cheers!
This morning while driving, I heard the new Trey Songz single on the radio 'I'm Already Taken', and I instantly put on my hater hat. I thought 'Damn homey, save some of the ladies for the rest of us!! .. this dude is constantly finding new ways every day to get all the women!!'. Over the last few years, we have witnessed Trey Songz quietly rise from being the average R&B singer to the biggest R&B sensation on the planet. From young girls to old hags alike, you'd be hard pressed to find a single one that is not crazy about this guy and I knew that this song would only enhance and bolster his position. Everyone knows that if you ask any woman what they want in a relationship, they will always say honesty and faithfulness (no, they aren't necessarily the same, but that's another blog), and here goes Mr Songz hitting them in their soft spot with 'I'm Already Taken'.
However, after the effects of my haterade wore off, I thought of a different perspective. I thought instead that perhaps Trey Songz should be commended for this bold step that he has taken. In a world where every entertainer and 'role model' (rapper, r&b singer, rock star, athlete, politician, spiritual leaders, etc) show us by both their words and actions that debauchery and polygamy are what define men (and many of us buy into it), Trey Songz has taken a different approach: Trey Songz has publicly declared that monogamy is cool. He can go to the clubs and women can throw themselves at him and he has no problems announcing 'I'm Already Taken'. This isn't the first time he's done it either.. In his video for the song 'Your Side of the Bed', he played the role of a husband whose wife was deployed to war and he was anxiously awaiting her return, which she never did (She died at war and he broke down crying at the door further tugging on these women's heart strings .. Monogamy and a man not afraid to cry?!! .. That bastard!!! ... Hey, how did this hater hat come back on?!.. Lol). Anyway, I've digressed :-) ... How cool is it that the person who has the attention of all the ladies (and all the men that are trying to find out the secret to his super powers), is suggesting that its cool to be a one lady man? Could Trey Songz (consciously or not) be taking the first step towards bringing morality back into our society?
Undoubtedly, pop culture plays a huge role in influencing all of us (not just our children). While I do agree that parents ultimately have the responsibility of teaching children right from wrong, it is definitely pop culture that enforces or dissuades those teachings. Pop culture is the reason our kids want these ridiculous looking clothes, why our grown folk want jewelry, why we bought the 4.6 instead of the 4.0 Range Rover, and why we want those expensive sneakers.. Because whether we admit it or not, somewhere in the back of our minds we believe that if we mimic them even if its ever so slightly we might somehow yield the same results. So imagine when all our heroes from Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Bill Clinton, Shaquille O'neal, and music stars in their songs and videos reinforce that every man cheats. It almost suggests that it's a prerequisite for greatness and a way of proving your manhood. It is constantly being imprinted on the minds of our impressionable society (not just men either .. I've even heard women accept less than they deserve by saying things like 'every man cheats, but I'm who he comes home to at night' which then further gives us a license to continue that behavior .. thats yet another blog .. maybe I'll call it 'It's Your Fault').
One thing I have also noticed about recent pop culture, however, is that it lacks originality, so whenever somebody is 'hot', for the next year and a half every other artist is copying the one that is successful, and with Trey Songz being on top imagine if one by one artists continue in this vein and write songs that encourage our young men that it's ok to be faithful and respect our women... What a great thing that would be. Trey Songz, I commend you for taking the first step towards getting society back on the right track publicly (even if u probably hitting off mad groupies backstage after your shows... There's that damn hater hat again.. Lol). Good Job.
But then again, what do I know ... That I know nothing.
Listen here Mr James!! As I sit here in anticipation for your hour long special to announce where you're going (which in itself is ridiculous), I just thought I should let you know my stance (since I know you're an avid reader of my blog .. lol). If you come to NY I will still think you are the best player in the league (ignore by Kobe blog, I was just saying that to get you mad .. lol)... If you stay in Cleveland, that would be very honorable and noble of you, especially after your mom smashed the homey!! If you go to Chicago, I can respect that decision. They have some good people at a lot of the positions that could make you a contender and they are still young. .. But, Mr James ... IF YOU DARE GO TO THE MIAMI HEAT .. I will have lost all respect for you. Congratulations Kobe Bryant, you will no longer be my least favorite player in the league. How can you go from being the best player in the league (arguably) to attempting to ride another player's coat tails to the championship. That would essentially be you going from being Jordan to being Tony Kukoc! Yes it is riding coat tails, because Wade already has a ring. The announcement is about to start, so I wont continue because I know you need some time to read this before you announce.... but homey, dont embarrass us all .. Make ur momma proud ... oh, oops! Ha
But then again, what do I know .. that I know nothing!!
Hey guys, today while rummaging through my desk looking for some specs so I could run a quarterly report, I stumbled upon a prayer that someone must have forwarded me and I printed it out. Every time I read it, it offers some calmness/soothing of mind and spirit for me. I know a couple of my friends are going through some tough times right now, so I figured I would share it with you guys hoping that someone else may be blessed by it .. Consider it me 'praying it forward'* ..
My prayer for you all:
May today be all you need it to be.
May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight, and conquer all your fears.
May God manifest Himself today in ways you have never experienced.
May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer, and your prayers be answered.
I pray that faith enters a new height for you;
I pray that your territory is enlarged.
I pray for peace, healing, health, happiness, properity, joy, true and undying love for God.
Amen
God promises a safe landing .. not a calm passage.
But then again, what do I know? ... that I know nothing.
*Note: 'Pray it forward' is simply a twist on the expression 'pay it forward'. For those not familiar with the expression:
The expression "pay it forward" is used to describe the concept of asking that a good turn be repaid by having it done to others instead (gotta love wikipedia)
For years I have often heard (and I also subscribed to) the notion that age is just a number. They say 'You are as young as you wanna be!' or 'Age is just a state of mind!', suggesting that age is a fictional monster similar to the Lockness that only exists in people's dreams and imaginations and doesn't deserve any recognition.
Well ladies and gentlemen I'm here to testify today that AGE IS REAL!!! *church dance*
Last night my church had a 4 on 4 basketball tournament which was sponsored and organized by Tasha 'Procrastinator' Brown and The Gem School.
Sidebar: Gem School is basically similar to 'Charm School' on Vh1, but better.. They teach young ladies how to respect themselves, and it helps them recognize their own worth .. Eh, enough of that .. Maybe Procrastinator will blog about it later (pun intended).
Anyway, back to the tournament. So, the tournament was categorized into groups, more specifically AGE groups (under 18, 18-25, 25 and over). This was my first indication that 'I wasn't as young as I wanna be' because I found myself in the oldest group, waaay in the oldest group.. So far into the oldest group that if they had another group above that, I very well may have qualified .. Lol.
Then the games began. I sat and watched some of the younger groups (some of whom are college graduates with full time jobs) play. From start to finish (finish for some of them were three or four games later) the games featured lightning quick first steps, jumping ability as though they had pogo sticks in their $150 basketball sneakers (the fact that I point out the price of their sneakers is another indicator... Lol), endurance like they could participate in a triathlon, and highly competitive spirits.
Then came my group, which started with a session of stretching, followed by a conversation/pep talk between the two teams that went something like this (ok guys let's try to make this exciting, but don't over do it .. Some of us have work in the morning .. And some of us have no health insurance .. It's not that serious). Then the game began. Molasses slow first steps, leaping ability like 'why aren't u guys jumping? we are jumping!!', and endurance?, well let's just say when the score was tied at 7 we had another discussion about changing game from 16 to 11 but grown man pride wouldn't allow it. Oh, and let's not forget the game stoppages due to injury. In the end though, we had a great time and the crowd was into it.
Everyone seemed to have a great time and an enjoyable evening. Everyone left all smiles.... But some of us didn't wake up with those same smiles. Over night those smiles turned into grimaces. I don't even know when it happened. Somewhere between the fun on the court, the shower when I got home (gotta let u know I didn't go to bed funky), and the 5 hours of sleep, I woke up this morning sore in some places that had me thinking to myself "at what point could I have used that muscle?!!" (No, not That muscle.. Smh.. Lol). It was at that very moment that I realized that age is not a figment of my imagination but instead a 4 headed monster preying on and devouring unsuspecting victims while robbing them of their youth!! Age is evil! No, age is The Devil!! This morning I stood face to face with The Devil and I think I lost!
The French poet Charles Pierre Baudelaire once wrote 'the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn't exist'. I am convinced that must be what he had in mind when he shared that thought.
I just wanted, no, needed to share this revelation with those of you who have not yet been confronted by this demon and tell you to run while you can ... Save yourselves!! He got me, I'm finished .. My dear basketball sneakers can now be found hanging on a telephone wire near you..
But then again, The Devil is a liar!!! ... So maybe, just maybe... Eh, maybe not.
But then again what do i know .. That I know nothing!
Note: Some of the events were exaggerated for the effect, but not many.
Often times when I'm asked 'When are you gonna settle down, get married and have some kids?', I usually brush it off with an answer that will quickly end the convo (ie: if it's church, I will simply say 'whenever The Lord provides' because I know there is no response to that.... lol). Other times i just attribute it to my fear of commitment, or the fact that I've been such a confidant for so many and personally witnessed both the blissfulness of love and the devastating toll it takes on a person after it doesn't work out; and didn't want to allow myself to be so vulnerable to experience such a low point (of course it also means robbing myself of the high point but I'm ok with that). When it really comes down to it though, the truth is I grew up in a home where i witnessed exactly what it takes to be a 'good husband' and 'good father', and I simply don't know if I have what it takes:
My dad aka Ol' skool aka Pops has demonstrated to me that the word father is actually an action word.
It means taking many trips to the park and teaching me how to ride a bike
It means sitting at the table every night and helping me with my homework
It means 'waiting up' with me when I had a project to finish (note: waiting up usually meant snoring on the couch)
It means also 'waiting up' for me when I was out late (see waiting up definition above)
It means leaving work to pick me up from school when I wasn't feeling good
It means carrying me from appointment to appointment
I means saying 'I'm not hungry' when it's really 'I only have enough to buy you one' when u don't have it,
It means living modestly even when you do have it so that you can afford to put your kids through college
It means selling some of your retirement stock so that I could have a down payment on my place.
Basically, every success I have achieved in life, I have only been able to experience because of my dad's incessant acts selflessness and sacrifice... of course he would say God is responsible and naturally I'd agree, but my dad was even there with me to help and guide me through those moments when I even wondered if God was.
So on this Father's Day, I would like to propose a toast *raising glass (sparkling cider of course)*
To the man that always told me he was proud of me.
To the man that still calls me every day, and still says I love you when he hangs up the phone with me.
To the man that always reminds me the last three letters of my name spell the word 'win' (corny, though it may be) whenever I'm experiencing moments of doubt.
To the man who spared nothing to ensure I'd become something....
I thank you, I love you and I salute you .. Happy Father's Day!!
To all the other real fathers out there I extend the toast to you too.. Happy Father's Day!!!
To those who have a father; I celebrate with you
To those who lost their father; I grieve with you
To those who never knew their father; I grieve for you...
To all the men out there with children, I encourage you to be a father because you know that 'my dad can is superman and can do anything' feeling that little kids get?, well, they'll still have it 30+ years later...
But then again, what do I know .. that I know nothing
While watching the NBA finals over the last couple of weeks, I have been forced to admit something that brings pain to very depths of my soul: Kobe Bryant is the best basketball player on the planet. There, I said it. I won’t even say ‘arguably the best’; this guy is hands down the best player in the game right now. You name it, he’s got it:
Long Range Jump Shot: Check. Damn near pulls up from half court Mid Range Jump Shot: Check. With or without the glass Ambidextrous: Check. The guy even puts up floaters with his left hand Post Up: Check. Sometimes posts up even bigger players Durability: Check. Played with a broken finger and torn cartilage in his knee Court Vision: Check. Knows exactly where to be and how to get the right shot Passing Ability: Check. Not the greatest but can create and dish Leadership: Check. Sometimes I sit wondering if Phil Jackson somehow got fired because he’s constantly teaching Defense: Check. All NBA first team in defense for several years Clutch Performance: Check. Yeah, you already know
Yes, Lebron has better court vision, Ray Allen is a better shooter, he no longer has the leaping ability as some the others in the league, and he may not even be amongst the fastest in the league, but this guy is more complete than them all.
While watching Kobe play, its obvious that he has patterned his game after MJ (no, not the singer), and in some ways is even better than him (fix your face!, This is myyyy blog!! *Poyser voice* - insider). However, I notice that his teams aren’t as dominant as the 90’s Bulls were. Certainly he may have the opportunity to match Jordan’s success (measured in Championships), but the Lakers often struggle and lose to teams that on paper are far inferior. Jordan’s Bulls completely dominated when he played.
I thought long and hard to analyze the difference: his role players are certainly more talented than the role players Jordan had, he has the same coach, the same triangle offense, and obviously the same will to win. So why don’t the Lakers win 70 games? Why do they lose or at least struggle with these sub-par teams? Then it dawned on me, there is one element of Jordan’s game that Kobe didn’t embody: Kobe has not mastered the art of TRASH TALKING.
I know the basketball purists believe that trash talking is sophomoric and you should let your game speak for itself, but I argue that those purists are discounting the psychological effects that trash talking has on an opposing player.
Let’s use these NBA finals as an example. Kobe’s defensive assignment is to guard Rajon Rondo: a player who is quick, gets to the rim at will and can create for other players, but he has no jump shot. The perfect defense is to back off him so he can’t run past you, and force him to be a jump shooter. The first part is easy enough, however, giving him space does not force him to shoot. Rondo is also well aware of his weakness and as a result will not voluntarily shoot the open shot. Instead he will look for a teammate to pass the ball to and reset.
Now lets revisit that scenario, however, instead of Kobe just giving Rondo space, he is also telling him ‘Go ahead take that shot! I’m giving you all that room! Take it, you bum!!’ Rondo still knows that is not his game, but in his mind Kobe has just challenged his psyche and questioned his talent, and it quite possibly may be the first time his talent has ever been questioned (considering all the players in the NBA were probably the star of every team they have been on growing up).
Now imagine if Rondo was able to ignore it the first time and stay within the game plan by not taking the shot and Kobe would then say something like ‘Yeah, you don’t want it! You’re a bum!!’. Then imagine Kobe taking the ball on offense and shooting a three pointed from damn near half court and saying ‘Thats how you shoot a jump shot, you bum!!’.
Imagine the damaging psychological effect this will have. I can almost guarantee that Rondo will take the jump shot next time down the court just for the possibility that it will go in and shut Kobe up and keep his ego in tact. Now, not only does Kobe take you out of your game plan (an added defensive tactic), but he now also has you beaten psychologically and Kobe’s team will dominate. This was a tool Jordan used all the time, and what I believe to be one of his most overlooked ‘talents’.
Hey Kobe!, if you are looking to dominate and not just squeak out wins, you gotta step your trash talk game up!! Work on that over the summer and you’ll probably win the championship for the next 3 or 4 years at least. If you need some help, give me a call, I got u .. Not that Im a great trash talker, but because I've had my psyche damaged enough to know whats effective.. Lol
But Kobe, please be careful, because the only thing more damaging to the psyche than effective trash talk, is an effective two piece to the chin (oh yeah, but you already know that): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqafrgriot8
Wow, I finally did it!! .. I actually started a blog!! Who woulda thought?!
Well actually, starting a blog is something I have contemplated doing for several months now. A few of my friends write regularly, and they have been encouraging me to follow suit. However, while the thought of creating a blog and expressing my ideas in writing appealed to my creative side (especially since I haven't had many opportunities to write since grad school), I haven't started one until now primarily for one simple reason .... My fear of commitment. I didn't want to start yet another thing that I know I wont finish, but I guess I just couldn't resist the urge. So I decided my first blog should serve as both an introduction and a warning ...
Welcome to my blog!! I'm happy I'm here, but I can't promise I'm here to stay. (wow, sadly that sentence just summed up my life... Lol)
Oh, and I stole the title of my blog from one of my favorite Plato/Socrates dialogues when Socrates was explaining to Plato that a wise man is wise only because he knows that he knows nothing...
