Office Rest Room Chronicles ....

This morning as I approached the men's rest room to "drain the main vein", one of my coworkers was exiting.  He said hello, but not in his usually over enthusiastic manner (yeah, he's one of those).  I noticed it was unusual, but I thought nothing of it ... that was until I actually entered the rest room!!  I then  realized that his seemingly dismissive greeting was actually his post rest room walk of shame!  

Good Gawd the atrocity this man committed in there!!!   He had every right to not look me in my eyes! ..   but damn, he coulda atleast given me the John Witherspoon warning from Friday "Dont nobody go in there for 35-45 minutes!!"

I tried to hurriedly use the facility while holding my breath the entire time.  While washing my hands, I happened to notice that my shirt pulled out of my pants and I dont like to look disheveled (most of the time), especially since it wasn't even lunch time yet  ....  so just as I finish adjusting my shirt and pants in the mirror and I'm buckling my belt, in walks another co worker who immediately gets a whiff of the crime scene, furrows his brow, and gives me the look of horror and disdain!!

OH NO, I'VE BEEN FRAMED!!    

At this point, I thought of the uttering the words of Shaggy 'It wasn't me', but instead I just figured he probably wouldnt believe me anyway ... i didnt even try to explain, I just bowed my head and exited in my post rest room walk of shame ... damn

That dude is probably composing his blog post about me right now ... lol .. but then again, what do I know ... 

My New Terrible Diagnosis

Dear family and friends,

Because I love you all, and because of the love you all have shown me, you have helped me build the courage to share with you.  I have received a terrible diagnosis... an incurable disease known as ILikeNiceThings has consumed me and there is no turning back.  This disease tends to flare up all the time, whether its a sick suit, a sick tie, a sick car, and for the most part I have been able to control it ... However, lately it has been plaguing me and rearing its ugly head when I pass the Gucci and Louis Vuitton stores at the Westchester Mall.  Every time I pass the Louis Store,  these shoes keep making me sick!!  I stare at them for minutes at a time, then finally when I muster up the strength to move, and start feeling a little better, I end up by the Gucci store and these damn shoes make me sicker!!  Ladies and gentlemen, you must help me in this cause ... here's how you can help... I have decided that on Sunday March 27th, I am doing a 5k walkathon (or 5 mile whichever is shorter .. I was never good with the metric system).  I am looking for sponsors for my walk to help my cause towards acquiring these shoes.  Please join me in my walk and gather sponsors. too  This is for a good cause... my health depends on it!!  To donate, you can donate via paypal (golewin@gmail.com) or on www.getgregshoes.com (no that website doesnt really exist, but the paypal account does :-) ).  Thanks in advance.



Sickly